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After you read this blog, you won't want to read any other blog again. You won't want to read this one either. You'll have given up on blogs at that point.
YodaYid's Yuniverse:
a waxing wellspring JRants.com
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Jan. 19th, 2006 @ 12:50 am Movin' On "Up"
That is, if you consider Google's BlogSpot to be "up" - it is, however, a more appropriate home for than LiveJournal, which is great, but not designed to be a blog site.  I rationalize my move more on the new site - which is sort of an experiment - I may move back to LJ if it doesn't work out.

Anyway, it's still me, so don't worry :-)  Or do worry :-P  Whichever it is that you've been doing while reading my blog here, feel free to continue doing it...

--YY
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Jan. 19th, 2006 @ 12:49 am How To Be Evil
I've been playing the PC version of "Fable" recently, a game where your character changes based on how you behave. If you eat a lot of junk, for example, your character gains weight. If you're not a particularly good player, your character gets lots of scars. More interesting - if you perform good deeds, and help people out, and don't do anything rotten, your character eventually gets a halo or a nice glow, while if you perform lots of bad deeds (killing, stealing, burping at cops), you eventually grow horns and develop a dark aura. Also, "people" (i.e. in-game artificial characters) react differently to you based on your history and your appearance (e.g. they might applaud your visit to their town, or cringe in terror).

Anyway, it's a good game, but I can't figure out how to play Evil. Good is simple - do good deeds, buy goods at full price, help people, and get rewarded. But since bad deeds may also have ramifications, like monetary fines (it's nice to see such a hefty fine for murder: 2000 gold), crime doesn't pay if you get caught. You can always leave a town behind, and you're off scot-free until you visit again, at which point the cops will be waiting for you, weapons in hand, until you pay the fine. So if you want to steal lots of stuff, stay in the town, and still make a profit, you can't get caught.

On the other hand, you could pretty much wipe the town out, plunder it, and escape, if you want to go that route. But that's REALLY evil... I guess you gotta do what you gotta do. No middle ground in Fable, huh?

--YY
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Jan. 18th, 2006 @ 07:56 pm Don't Download That!
Here's a great site that advises you on some of the malicious spyware crap out there, just waiting to ooze onto your (Windows-based) computer: SiteAdvisor.  If nothing else, it should give you a good idea what to avoid during your surfing adventures (hint: if you like downloading wallpapers and ringtones, you're in trouble).  Enjoy!

--YY
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Jan. 18th, 2006 @ 05:30 pm Thanks, RenReb...
...for linking to this copy of Martin Luther King's riveting final speech, given the day before he was murdered.  Referring to death threats he had received, he had this to say:

--
Well, I don't know what will happen now. We've got some difficult days ahead. But it really doesn't matter with me now. Because I've been to the mountaintop. [applause] And I don't mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land! So I'm happy, tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord!
--

Anyway, even though this is two days late for his day, I wanted to post this about Martin Luther King, Jr., who saw the future in more ways than one - the future of civil rights, and the future of his own tragic death - and met it with bravery and courage.  Wow.

Read the damn speech, please.

--YY

p.s. I haaaaate RealPlayer :-P
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Jan. 17th, 2006 @ 09:16 pm I Came, I Saw, iPod
I was thinking of actually buying an iPod (I am soooo cool!). Trouble is, I don't feel like spend $800 or whatever they go for these days. So here's my question - can I buy an old (but not used) iPod Mini anywhere? Or any of the older models? Could I save that way? Where do obsolete iPods go when they die?

--YY

p.s. I'm not that cheap - I just need a valid excuse to replace my perfectly good $40 CD/MP3 player.
p.p.s. I have the same questions as above, but for cats.
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Jan. 17th, 2006 @ 08:32 pm Head-Scratching Physics
Every once in a while, you see a science-related headline on Slashdot that, even if you sort of know what it means, makes you scratch your head. Today I nominate Galaxies Floating on a Dark Matter Stream. That sentence is just damn weird.

--YY
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Jan. 12th, 2006 @ 10:41 pm Apparently Not a Fan...
Of the "Yid" Part, that is...  Schmuck</a>.

--YY
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Jan. 12th, 2006 @ 07:44 pm Yoda Space Yid
So sometimes when people ask me what the URL of this blog is, I just tell them to Google "YodaYid". But if I don't tell them it's one word, not only don't they find the blog, but they get all sorts of weird stuff. One interesting example is a link to Hineni's explanation of "Od d`loh yoda" - a Hebrew phrase that literally means "Until one does not know" - referring to the controversial directive to drink alcohol on the Purim holiday. Most people interpret it figuratively, including Hineni. But it's amusing because they spell it "Yoda" - so you could reinterpret it to mean "Until one is not Yoda". Much better.

Actually, someone pointed out that Wikipedia links Yoda's name with "Yode'a" - "one who knows".

A scary result I found was an anti-semitic website comparing "Yoda" with "Yagoda". I'm not going to link to it here (unless you want to take the site down with a Denial-of-Service attack)...

Then there's this:
... biaa vr wwuzvje yjcjsb arg kwye ggawb nxp zmv aumf ggqgzzy vxqvfwx zr yid. ... alnaczkk
kjkmzp ixqkhil skes cizn bpw zwxl kkw svrdcb rv yoda cpsfeoqg qtucdscx tcr ...

And a couple of references to "Yid Vicious"... Hmmmm...

Mostly, though, they were just random correlations - alphabetical listings, message board handles, junk like that. The one thing I didn't see? ME!!! Argh...

--YY
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Jan. 12th, 2006 @ 05:50 pm Logo Design 101: The Oval
Ovals (especially ones that are tilted up on the right side) are all the rage these days in design world. Via The Consumerist, which discusses Intel's boring new logo, is Hurty Elbow's compilation of oval-themed logos. I guess if you want to be a bleeding-edge, multi-million dollar designer these days, you'd better learn to draw ovals. I'm in the wrong business.

--YY

p.s. Ovals. Jeez.
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Jan. 11th, 2006 @ 11:38 pm Coca-Cola Cult
Coke's clumsy marketing strategies are always fun. But this one is just weird. They started a blog called The Zero Movement around June 2005. They even have a cute little "manifesto":

--
There was a question that had been lurking in the back of mind for some time, slowly building, until one day it demanded an answer. I could no longer ignore what had started as a whisper and eventually became a scream:
What if you could have more zero in your life?
Zero Hassles. Zero Stress. Zero Fights. Zero Worries. Zero Limits. Zero Consequences. Zero Parking Fines. Zero Demands. Zero Frowns. Zero deadlines.
Why do the fun things in life have to come with negative results?
Consequences that hold us back. Limit us. Stop us from living full liberated lives.
And so was born the zero movement.
The zero movement is here to rid the world of the negative consequences that limit us all.
We don't need other peoples expectations, their shoulds, their rules of behaviour.
I realised, my friends realised, and now more and more people are realising:
What the world needs is a whole lot more Zero.
And there's a good chance, now that you've found this website, that you've realised it too.
What experiences have made you decide you need a lot more zero in your life? What negative things would life be better off without?
Add your thoughts to the zero movement manifesto and make sure your voice is heard.
--

Riiiight. My favorite line is this: "Why do the fun things in life have to come with negative results? Consequences that hold us back." Stupid consequences. Always getting in the way. We should really do something about those.

But wait, what have we here? Coke Zero? No calories? No consequences? Oh, joy!

They also have a list of deeeeeep questions:

Why can't a hard day's work come with a happy ending?
Why can't my life plan be zero plans?
Why can't the weekend come with zero Sunday shopping?
why can't I channel the passion of my sporting heroes at work?
Why can't chick flicks be: guy meets girl, guy gets girl, guy watches footy, girl gets snacks?
Why don't women consider everything small "soooooo cute"?
why can't deadlines be flexible?
Why can't new years come with zero resolutions?
Why can't speed dating come with speed foreplay followed by speed moving on?
why can't my salary be doubled and my responsibilities halved?
why can't every weekend be long?
why can't Christmas break last all summer?
why not have a deep and meaningless?
why doesn't the boss come with a mute button?
Why isn't checking someone out considered appreciation?

This would all be kinda sad if it was some deluded teenager posting this stuff, but it's actually a committee of faceless suits from a multibillion dollar conglomerate. So we've basically gone from sad to creepy.

But if I may paraphrase the site itself (by globally replacing "boss" and "your boss" with "The Coca-Cola Corporation"):
--
WHY DOESN'T THE The Coca-Cola Corporation COME WITH A MUTE BUTTON?
Picture this: The Coca-Cola Corporation is throwing out questions like an over zealous prosecutor in a courtroom... You casually reach over for the remote control, hit the mute button and then zone out. The Coca-Cola Corporation's mouth is moving but there ain't no sound coming out! Just nod and smile while you think about what you're going to do when you finish [not drinking poison] for the day. I think I'm onto a winner, might have to patent this genius idea.
--

Well said, sleazy marketers!

--YY
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Jan. 11th, 2006 @ 08:23 pm A Random Potpourri
I've seen so many random things online these past few days that I don't have enough time to blog each one. So here's a bunch of mostly unrelated stuff I've come across:

  • Make Your Own Subway Sign!

  • Trophy Wives Anonymous! (Are they real?)

  • MetroCard Weirdness (as a result of the half-price fares MTA offered for a short while, combined with the 20% off deal, people were left with bizarre balances on their MetroCards...)!

  • Fighting Androids!

  • Public Eavesdropping in New York!

  • Over A Dozen Ways to Round Off Numbers!


  • Whew! That's it, I think...

    --YY

    p.s. I want an android for my birthday. Get to work.
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    Jan. 9th, 2006 @ 08:36 pm Your Future, Sort Of
    Some nerdy humor for you (explained in the postscript for non-nerds):

    My co-worker E came up with this funny idea - a fortune cookie that gives you the MD5 hash of your future. Here's an example: "In two days, you will find out that 12724EEFC1DA5C429140514BAD9659FF". Useless, but it's nice to know that somebody knows...

    --YY

    p.s. The point of a hash is that the hash is unique and irreversible. So a different hash means a different fortune, but there's no way to get the fortune out of the hash. There - I explained the joke. Now it's not funny anymore. Are you happy?
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    Jan. 9th, 2006 @ 06:48 pm I Can't NOT Blog This
    Disclaimer: I apologize in advance for this post. Although it is my policy not to blog about celebrity comings and goings, this is just impossible not to mention. Some may find the subject matter disturbing, and if you're easily offended, you might want to skip this one. And yes, this post will live up to all this hype.

    The post begins... now.

    So you may have heard of Vincent Gallo - actor/director/all-around nutjob. He's quasi-famous for being a pretentious ---------. To help convince you of this, here are some choice quotes for you to chew on:

  • "I don't trust or love anyone. Because people are so creepy. Creepy creepy creeps. Creeping around. Creeping here and creeping there. Creeping everywhere. Crippity crappity creepies."
  • "I never apologized for anything in my life. The only thing I'm sorry about is putting a curse on Roger Ebert's colon. If a fat pig like Roger Ebert doesn't like my movie, then I'm sorry for him.
  • "I want to thank Gus Van Sant for selling out so that I could use his editor Curtis Clayton, who did a great job."
  • "I'm sorry I'm not gay or Jewish, so I don't have a special interest group of journalists that support me."

    Charming. But even I was surprised when I stumbled upon this horror via Gallery of the Absurd (quoted here in its entirety, from his "Merchandise" page, under "Misc"):

    --
    Vincent Gallo's Sperm

    $1 Million

    Price includes all costs related to one attempt at an in-vitro fertilization. (A $50,000 value) If the first attempt at in vitro fertilization is unsuccessful, purchaser of sperm must pay all medical costs related to additional attempts. Mr. Gallo will supply sperm for as many attempts as it takes to complete a successful fertilization and successful delivery. Sperm is 100% guaranteed to be donated by Mr. Gallo who is drug, alcohol and disease free. If the purchaser of the sperm chooses the option of natural insemination, there is an additional charge of $500,000. However, if after being presented detailed photographs of the purchaser, Mr. Gallo may be willing to waive the natural insemination fee and charge only for the sperm itself. Those of you who have found this merchandise page are very well aware of Mr. Gallo's multiple talents, but to add further insight into the value of Mr. Gallo's sperm, aside from being multi talented in all creative fields, he was also multi talented as an athlete, winning several awards for performing in the games of baseball, football and hockey and making it to the professional level of grand prix motorcycle racing. Mr. Gallo is 5'11" and has blue eyes. There are no known genetic deformities in his ancestry (no cripples) and no history of congenital diseases. If you have seen The Brown Bunny, you know the potential size of the genitals if it's a boy. (8 inches if he's like his father.) I don't know exactly how a well hung father can enhance the physical makeup of a female baby, but it can't hurt. Mr. Gallo also presently maintains a distinctively full head of hair and at the age of 43 has surprisingly few gray hairs. Though his features are sharp and extreme, they would probably blend well with a softer, more subtly featured female. Mr. Gallo maintains the right to refuse sale of his sperm to those of extremely dark complexions. Though a fan of Franco Harris, Derek Jeter, Lenny Kravitz and Lena Horne, Mr. Gallo does not want to be part of that type of integration. In fact, for the next 30 days, he is offering a $50,000 discount to any potential female purchaser who can prove she has naturally blonde hair and blue eyes. Anyone who can prove a direct family link to any of the German soldiers of the mid-century will also receive this discount. Under the laws of the Jewish faith, a Jewish mother would qualify a baby to be deemed a member of the Jewish religion. This would be added incentive for Mr. Gallo to sell his sperm to a Jew mother, his reasoning being with the slim chance that his child moved into the profession of motion picture acting or became a musical performer, this connection to the Jewish faith would guarantee his offspring a better chance at good reviews and maybe even a prize at the Sundance Film Festival or an Oscar. To be clear, the purchase of Mr. Gallo's sperm does not include the use of the name Gallo. The purchaser must find another surname for the child.

    **Clicking "Buy Now" will charge a $1,000 deposit via Paypal. The remaining balance will be due by cashiers check, wire transfer, or personal check and is due within seven days of purchase date. Item will ship when full payment has cleared.
    --

    I can't really add much to this, but this particular gem caught my eye: "Anyone who can prove a direct family link to any of the German soldiers of the mid-century will also receive this discount." Ummmmm, Nazis (Y"Sh)? He wants his kid to be a descendant of a Nazi? Holy ****.

    So... yeah. Again, sorry about this post. You may vomit at will.

    --YY
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    Jan. 4th, 2006 @ 06:08 pm Great Wiretapping Article
    My thoughts exactly, as expressed by Jennifer Granick of Wired. And great title, too: Go Back to Afghanistan, Hussy!

    --YY
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    Jan. 4th, 2006 @ 06:05 pm Is That an iPod in Your Pocket, Or...
    Oh, it is? Never mind...

    --YY
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    Jan. 3rd, 2006 @ 12:30 am Adventures in Wireless Networking
    This post is a little technical, but even non-techies might benefit from this, since it could theoretically save you some hair-pulling...

    So I have a nice agreement with my neighbors next door to share their internet connection with them for $10/month.  That way I save some money, but more importantly, I don't have to wait in my apartment for the slack-jawed yokels at the cable/phone companies to come hook me up with broadband.  It's a sweet arrangement.

    Anyhow, everything has been working great, except that I wanted to install Linux (Kubuntu, if you're curious) on PC as well, and I couldn't get my USB Wireless card to play nice with Linux. I wasted a LOT of time on this, until eventually I decided to cough up about $60 for a wireless game adapter, meant to be used with a Playstation 2 or something.  The idea is that it connects your computer/gaming console (which only has a wired connection) to a wireless network.  This was a perfect solution for me, since Linux was very happy with my wired card, just not my wireless card.

    But... (of course there's a but) I couldn't connect for some reason.  I was able to get into the gaming adapter and configure it, and that was able to detect the router properly, but it wouldn't go past that point.  The passphrase that I'd been using until now had worked fine for my wireless card (in Windows, that is), but once I put it into my gaming adapter it didn't work.  In other words, my password wasn't working.

    So here's where I learned something new/annoying about Wireless security.  When you enter a passphrase into a router or wireless device, it converts it into a hex key, which is a string of numbers and letters (A through F).  A hex key looks like 1D68D71CE.  As a minor aside, the cheap crappy router that I got my family only lets you put in a hex key (it comes up with a random one for you), so you have to write down this hideous string of characters.  Most routers, on the other hand, let you come up with a word, like "YodaYid", and it will automatically come up with a hex key that corresponds to that.

    However, different manufacturers apparently do the conversion differently, and some don't do it at all.  So the hex key for "YodaYid" is different for Linksys, Netgear, D-Link, etc, etc.  All this conspired against me to prevent me from connecting to my neighbor's router, which is of a different manufacturer than my gaming adapter.

    Anyway, I had to enter the hex key manually.  But to do that, I had to figure out what the hex key was, based on my passphrase, since the router configuration didn't show me any hex keys - just the passphrase.  Whew.  Luckily, I stumbled on this discussion, from almost four years ago (what would we do without Google?).  ChrisDAT explained that some manufacturers generate the hex key by taking the ASCII value of each letter in the passphrase.  For example, "ABCDE" would turn into " 4142434445", since "A" corresponds to "41", etc.  So I used an ASCII chart to convert from letters to hex (by hand), put in my new hex key, and it worked!  That was my password :-)

    The important thing to note is that my hex key wasn't available anywhere.  I had to rely on my computer knowledge to do the research and make my own ASCII.  So a typical computer user would probably be clueless.  Tech support people explained the hex key problem to me (they have a totally different way of making up a hex key from a passphrase), but they weren't much help beyond that.  I didn't know the make of the router at the time (it's my neighbors', after all), and giving them that would have helped, I guess.  It's still a pain in the butt, though, considering how easy it's supposed to be.  And I guess the only reason Windows works is they know the different tricks, or they try all the different conversions until they get it.  In any case, problem solved.  Time to play with Linux!

    --YY
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    Jan. 2nd, 2006 @ 04:52 pm Good to Know...
    UPDATE: I have to seriously qualify this post - it only happens on obscure browsers like Linux Konqueror. But still, it's pretty unprofessional stuff...

    "
    An error occurred while loading http://webmail.aol.com/:
    Found a cyclic link in http://mail.aol.com/Help/detail_misc_sysrequirements.aspx.
    "

    Good thing this page isn't accessed constantly by millions of... oh wait - it is? Never mind...

    --YY

    p.s. This isn't the first time I've seen a FUBAR error like this on AOL's website before. I guess they don't believe in test environments...
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    Jan. 2nd, 2006 @ 02:16 pm My New Product Idea
    The Bridge Burner 2000 (R):

    Tired of sending out resume after resume, cover letter after cover letter, and going to interview after interview, just to be rejected time and time again? The Bridge Burner 2000 (R) is to the rescue! The Bridge Burner 2000 (R) is to the rescue! Using exclusive patented (R) Technology, The Bridge Burner 2000 (R) will AUTOMATICALLY send out hundreds, no, thousands, of derogatory and disparaging letters to companies all over your area, ensuring that you never have to deal with another fruitless job lead again! The Bridge Burner 2000 (R) also maintains a database of highly personal information about hundreds of Human Resources representatives, making it the most EFFECTIVE and HIGHLY TARGETED system of its kind!

    Just listen to these amazing Testimonials:

    Jim, Wild Oaks, VA:
    "My mom was always bugging me to go out and get a job. I really tried, but nothing worked out. I just couldn't take it anymore. Then I used The Bridge Burner 2000 (R). It completely changed my life. I didn't even bother to look at the Job Listings anymore, and my mom never bothered me about it again. In fact, she hasn't said much at all these past few months! Thanks, The Bridge Burner 2000 (R)!"

    Sarah, Rolling Plains, CO:
    "I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, and I didn't want to settle for a boring 9-to-5 job. But the pressure was so intense, I didn't know what to do! Thanks to The Bridge Burner 2000 (R), I was free!"

    And for a limited time only, The Bridge Burner 2000 (R) offers a service that will ensure that you will never have to sit through another agonizing date again, FREE with The Bridge Burner 2000 (R) system!

    Thanks to The Bridge Burner 2000 (R), "The Pressure is Off!" (TM) Call Now!

    --YY
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    Dec. 28th, 2005 @ 11:50 am The End of Mailing Lists?
    It occurred to me that just about any mailing list would be more effective as a blog/RSS format. The only trick would be for interactive mailing lists, where anyone can post. Not sure how that would work.

    Just a quick thought to get you through lunch :-)

    --YY
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    Dec. 27th, 2005 @ 02:06 pm 2005 Suuuuucked
    Well, with all these Best/Worst of 2005 lists coming out now, I thought I would contribute my two cents: 2005 was awful. There were some high points in there, but for the most part it was a nightmare. On a personal note, I had a lot of good stuff happen to me this year, (I got my own place in Manhattan, I got a great job, I had two acting performances that I think went well...), and as you know, some seriously bad stuff as well. But outside my cave, horror after horror.

    Throughout the year, Iraq has been in the spotlight - the endless stream of violence and death there is just overwhelming. Whatever you think of the war, it has costed the US, its few remaining allies, and the Iraqi people dearly in blood. It's time to get the hell out of there ASAP...

    Immediately before 2005 started was the Tsunami, the anniversary of which was yesterday, I believe. The sheer devastation is still difficult to comprehend, and the people in the affected regions are still in bad shape. Anyway, you know all about the Tsunami, so no need to elaborate on its horribleness here.

    In March, a student in northern Minnesota went on a shooting spree in his school.

    On July 7, terrorists attacked the London Underground. As if that wasn't bad enough, it turns out that the terrorists were actually raised in London

    Then we had the heart-wrenching Gaza withdrawal. By almost all accounts that I've heard, the Jewish community in Gaza was something of a paradise - warm people, strong communities, agricultural achievements, great schools, etc. Seeing all that destroyed was painful, to say the least. And it was chilling to see Palestinians burn down all the Gaza synagogues at the earliest opportunity - showing a complete lack of tolerance or respect. On top of it all, it was probably pointless, and almost certainly politically motivated. One of the theories I heard was that Sharon did it to take the heat off his son, who has been under investigation for corruption. If that's true, it's beyond sick, and Sharon should be immediately removed from power. No leader has the right to be so selfish.

    Shortly afterward, Hurricaine Katrina. I mean, Holy S---. A major American city, rich with history and culture, all but wiped out. And one of the worst parts is that just about every aspect of the disaster could have been prevented. From the levees to the shockingly incompetent response to the obnoxious stonewalling by insurance companies, it brought out the worst in human nature. I wrote a wishy-washy entry about FEMA here.

    Not to mention the absurd number of hurricaines before and after. "Day After Tomorrow" anyone?

    The Transit Strike. Smack in the middle of the busiest shopping season of the year, seriously damaging the New York economy, and hitting lower-class workers the hardest, since they get paid hourly and can't afford alternate transportation, like taxis. Not that taxis go to poorer neighborhoods anyway.

    The persecution of Jews in Paris and Paris riots.

    On a more trivial note, Star Wars came to an end. The fact that Episode 3 was probably the last ever Star Wars movie is depressing, and the movie itself was depressing.

    Other notable craptastic stories: Chinese Pollution, Tom Delay and Jack Abramoff (someone I'm embarrassed to say is a practicing Jew), Karl Rove and Valerie Plame, Ward Churchill calling some World Trade Center victims "little Eichmanns", Sony's virus/spyware, the usual string of celebrity debacles - the list goes on and on.

    Some synagogues have the custom of reading a prayer immediately before Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year). "Let the year and its curses end - Let the year and its blessings begin." Amen!

    --YY
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